mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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