I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
