Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
