Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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