Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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