Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
