I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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