The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
