I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
