Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
