I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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