i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
