i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
