What a fucking waste of an outfit
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
