Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
This is classic penis vs brain.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Randomize