C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
