Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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