I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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