I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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