I showed him my bush... on skype.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
