You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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