Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
