my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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