Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
