We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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