Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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