I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
