Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
