the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
