I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
