No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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