bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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