I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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