It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
