How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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