i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
