conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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