Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
