i may or may not be watching the land before time
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
