please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
