i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize