Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
