i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm passing your future prison.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Did I show you my penis last night?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
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