If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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