i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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