I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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