oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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