Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
