FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize