people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize