Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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