Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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