i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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