Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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