The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
