Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
