i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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