hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
