Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
