god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
