sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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