My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
