The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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