I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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