Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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